Recently in Crimes Category

A McCain volunteer, Ashely Todd, reported to police that a 6'4' "black man" attacked her and carved a "B" for Barack in her face, because she is a McCain supporter.  The big "black man" (isn't it always a "black man" in these stories?) allegedly told her that he was going to make her a Barack Obama supporter.

Todd made up the story.  The tip off to police that she was lying?  The B on her face was backward, because she cut her own self while looking in the mirror. 

Who doesn't know that mirrors reflect letters backward? What a moron.

Thank goodness everybody is okay!  A man who said he was wearing a bomb took hostages at Hillary Clinton's campaign office in Rochester, NH.  The man has been arrested and all of the hostages are safe.

Clinton posted this statement on the homepage of her website:

I am very grateful that this difficult day has ended so well. All of my campaign staff and volunteers are safe. I want to thank them for their extraordinary courage and coolness under some very difficult pressures and dangerous situations. I also want to thank all of law enforcement. We were in touch from the moment this began with local, county, state, federal law enforcement. I am so grateful to them for their response which brought this hostage situation to such a good ending.

 Mikhail Gorbachev and his pet Louie.

Former leader of the former Soviet Union, Mikhail Gorbachev, knows the power of a hot handbag.  He appeared in a recent advertisement for Louis Vuitton, seated next to a Louis Vuitton bag in a limo.

The ad has caused drama, because of a Russian magazine poking out of the open bag.  The headline of the magazine (when tranlated from Russian to English) says, "The Murder of Litvinenko: They Wanted to Give Up the Suspect for $7,000." 

Litvinenko is Alexander V. Litvinenko, the former KGB spy who died last Novermber after being poisoned with a radioactive material.  On his deathbed, Litvinenko said that President Vladimir V. Putin was behind his poisoning.  British officials later charged Andrei K. Lugovoi, an associate of Putin, with the crime. 

So the drama is all about whether the magazine was placed in the ad on purpose, and if so, what does it mean? Louis Vuitton, its ad agency Ogilvy & Mather, and a representative for Gorbachev all deny that the magazine placement was intentional or designed to send a message. 

Not everyone is buying their story though.  As one observer told the New York Times, "In an industry where sesame seeds are hand-placed on a hamburger bun by food technicians before a shot, one would reasonably assume that this was not something that happened by chance.  Ads like these get art-directed to the very millimeter and airbrushed so that the advertiser gets exactly what they want.”

Come on, Louis Vuitton. We may be polichicks, but we're not dumb broads.

CNN reports that former New York City Police Chief, Bernard Kerik, has been indicted by a federal grand jury.  Details of the charges against him are not expected to be available until the indictment is unsealed on Friday.

Prosecutors had been investigating Kerik for bribery and tax evasion. He admitted to misdemeanor charges of financial  impropriety one year ago.

President Bush nominated Kerik to head the Department of Homeland Security in 2004.  Kerik withdrew his name from consideration after allegations that he hired a nanny with questionable immigration status surfaced.

Kerik is a longtime friend and protege of Republican presidential candidate and former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani.  Frenemy Giuliani has called his previous support of Kerik "a mistake."

We have some sad news, polichicks.  Air America Radio host Randi Rhodes was mugged Sunday in New York City while walking her dog Simon.  The assailants beat her up badly and knocked out several of her teeth. 

Randi was not wearing jewelry or carrying a purse at the time of the attack, so there is speculation that Randi was not mugged, but was the victim of a "hate crime" because of her liberal views.

We polichicks, red and blue, all wish Randi a full and speedy recovery.  Hang in there, girl!